How to talk to your partner about poop
How to talk to your partner about poop
It’s a well-known fact that the first days of a beautiful relationship kick off with that familiar feeling of butterflies in your stomach, and even though you might be remembering that magical flutter for many years after, there’s another feeling that will soon have to be dealt with in a relationship that's sure to stand the test of time; you've got that right, it's the first (and second), and countless future poos that will punctuate a happy and healthy lifetime together.
Pooping is a universal experience. By embracing this universal truth and talking openly about it, we embark on a quest of authenticity and acceptance, paving the way for deeper connections in our relationships.
There are many tales out there narrating the lengths which some will go to, in the effort to protect themselves (or others?) when they have to, well, GO. But there's more to it than the physical door separating our doings from the living room or bedroom, and rather a mental threshold that we can benefit from crossing, together.
Let’s be real, is it a glamourous conversation to be having? Should we be having it over a candlelit dinner with the in-laws? Probably not, nonetheless, talking about what goes on behind closed bathroom doors is almost certain to make a relationship healthier.
A study found that 32% of men feel comfortable about toilet concerns around their partner, compared to only 15% of women. Even then, over half of people noted that they weren’t comfortable bringing up what goes on below the waist with their partner. Although people are still tiptoeing around the topic, talking about what goes down in the toilet strengthens your relationship!
Why Talking About Poop is important for YOUR relationship
It’s inevitable – Despite all the shame that history has built around the topic, the fact of the matter is that everybody does it, and it’s a pretty important part of your physical and digestive health! There are plenty of hangups and issues that can come in the way of a happy and productive partnership, but don’t let your pungent pebbles be one of them.
It smells, noises occur, but piling that toilet paper as high as mountain to stop the plop of the pebbles is unlikely to help with any shame tied to pooping at a partner’s place.
Accepting this fact of nature is what will help you take control of your poop insecurities and leave the toilet time worries (literally) behind you, so you can ride into that sunset feeling a little bit lighter.
Health issues hide behind our shame - When it comes to our health, we want to catch things before sh*t hits the fan. Talking about poop may not be as thrilling as pina coladas and getting caught in the rain, but it's a serious matter when it comes to health.
If you’ve never spoken to your partner about toilet time before, you may find it difficult to talk about when things aren’t quite right down there. Not only this, but they may not understand how to support you if they’re not used to these types of conversations. By openly talking about your bathroom antics, you can catch potential issues early on, whether it's a change in frequency, consistency, or other red flags.
The taboo spreads – If the thought of doing your business close to an intimate partner petrifies you, this might be a sign that you have a stressful relationship with your bowel habits as a whole, and that is bad news for your physical and mental health.
Found yourself holding it in until you can no longer on that first holiday together? Or hit that flush button as soon as the bomb has dropped to evacuate the smell as quickly as possible? It’s this worry that heightens our stressful relationship with our bowels.
There’s so much havoc going on in the world and the last thing we need to be doing is adding to that with worrying about toilet time, or maybe when the next time we’ll get to go will be. That’s why we should all be striving to have a healthy relationship with our bowels.
Your real partner for life, your bowels
Your bowels are with you for life, so it’s good to treat them like a life partner. If you struggle to maintain a stress-free relationship with your bowels, like the 52% of Brits that wouldn’t go number 2s outside of their home, you may find yourself holding in your poo for hours at a time in the early stages of a relationship. Where this doesn’t cause too much damage when done occasionally, people who continuously hold in their poo could find themselves affected by below the waist related conditions.
So, if you’re the type of person that finds themselves holding it in until they find a safe and quiet place, it’s good to understand some of the potential risks:
- Faecal incontinence (inability to control bowel movements)
- Impaction (insides getting clogged up)
- Distention (widening of the rectum)
- Gastrointestinal perforation (a hole in the wall of the gastrointestinal tract)
- Other severe conditions caused by prolonged periods of inflammation in the bowel
Now these conditions may or may not occur, but is it really worth risking your health just so your partner thinks you’re a poopless deity?
If you find yourself experiencing any symptoms of these conditions, it’s always a good idea to just head down to you GP for a quick chat (and talk to your partner for support!).
Open communication is everything
Keeping poop in the toilet while also keeping it in the conversation can be a tricky task to navigate, especially in the early stages of a relationship. Embracing open and honest chats about the forbidden chocolate buttons with your partner is like inviting them into the most sacred and vulnerable parts of your life.
However, it’s all worth it in the long run. Sharing these intimate aspects of your life creates a deeper bond between you and your partner and helps you both monitor each other's health. So, no more keeping your bathroom activities a secret—let it all out...well, maybe not all of it!
Will talking about it be awkward?
Look, if we’re being honest, probably. When we bring up any conversation that’s been essentially forbidden for however long, it’s always a bit awkward. But if we’re being respectful of our partner’s boundaries, keeping it light-hearted, and listening to them as well as speaking, we should be in the clear.
Like a lot of things, it will become more comfortable over time. Just remember, open communication doesn't mean forcing the conversation—it means creating a safe space to talk.
When we manage to get comfortable, we can start to find the humour in all of it. Poop is funny, and you deserve to have all the laughs that the world has to offer with your special someone. When we laugh about poop, we take the power away from the taboo, and can focus on the serious bits if and when it comes to it.
However, just because we’re comfortable with the topic, doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be respectful with our toilet time activities.
Share a bathroom? Keep it respectful!
If you’re looking for ways to keep the peace when sharing a bathroom with your partner, try these tricks!
- Crack open the window, let nature carry away what nature brought to the bathroom.
- Add some scents, whether it be candles, air diffusers, or air fresheners, think about the person that’s coming in after you
- Keep it spick and span! Get those skid marks off the toilet bowl, make sure you flush, and leave the bathroom as you found it
- Give it time, if things are really bad in there, allow time before letting your partner stumble into a warzone.
We can’t guarantee 100% relationship success rates with these tips, but we think we can get pretty close!
Now it’s up to you!
If you’re worried about starting the conversation, we can guarantee that your partner is thinking about it too. We want you to embrace the power of poop talk in your relationship! It's not only healthy for the relationship, but healthy for your mind and body too. Bring (almost) everything to the table and enjoy the worry-free lifestyle afterwards! After all, a relationship that can talk about poop can weather any storm, one bathroom visit at a time!
Already got the mucky convos flowing? Why not introduce a third into your relationship? Wype helps you and your partner stay clean, moisturised and fresh, no matter how much life can throw at you! Not to mention, it’s great for kick-starting that first conversation about toilet habits!